Monday, August 1, 2011

A Lesson from My Son

My youngest son just left from a visit to return back to his home in another state.  Due to various scheduling, work, and other circumstances, we had not seen each other for almost 2 years!  We kept in touch via phone and text but as you well know, this is just not enough!

So he stayed with me for the last few days.  We did alot of family things like lunch at Five Guys, Cosmic Bowling, BBQs, auto repair and sleeping late.  I hoped that while he was here I would be able to impart some of my newfound wisdom.  Surely a 21-year-old needed some life lessons from mom....oh, how wrong I was.

I learned so much while he was here, things my head already knew but my heart did not.

For one, I can no longer be the mom I was 7 years ago.  I am just striving to relive something that doesn't exist anymore.  That is not the mom my kids need now.  I have wasted alot of time looking in the rearview mirror when everything is ahead of me!

Yes, I missed some time with my son.  But he has gracefully moved on.  He is a man handling an adult life.  By virtue of taking care of himself, he is free to live his his life as he sees fit.  He is paying his way, living with his decisions, without regret.  He deserves this freedom.

He told me that I had to have faith in how I raised him and his brother and sister.  Hmmm. It seems everyone has moved on but me.

I also learned while he was visiting that my "longing" for him to move here and live with me is also outdated.  If he did, it would only work for a while and he doesn't need THAT mom anyway.  THAT mom would hamstring him by making his breakfast every morning, make sure he got tickets to the ballgame and doing his laundry, just completely robbing him of his independence.

So, as I dropped him off at the airport terminal this morning, and he handled his own checkin, baggage, ticketing and stuff without a look back for mom, I realized that in freeing him to be himself, I am free too.  I am free to walk through the open door of this new and exciting chapter of my life and pursue my interests, dreams and something that is calling me.  It's time.

As he turned from the checkin counter, he walked straight to me for a big hug and a promise to be back, noting all of the nice time we spent together with the family over the past few days.  It was very sweet.

You know, I think this Real Girl just might have raised a Real Boy, one who is loving and true.  What more could one hope for?

Dear God,  Thank you AGAIN for Your mercies....they are new every, single morning!  Each day I see something new that You have brought me to, a new opportunity to move forward and far, far away from the Pretender I used to be.  Thank You for being ever mindful of me when there are so many bigger problems where You are needed.  You even see the little questions that nag at my heart and help me to find peace within.  I am forever Yours.     ~A Real Girl