Monday, July 25, 2011

The Single Girl and Match.com

Forgive me in advance for the diatribe I am about to unleash, but I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Dating is just not what it used to be.  Not that I dated very much.  But I daresay that this online dating thing is a daunting task for even the most achieved dater.  And if you are seriously looking for a lifelong partner, it truly is a jungle out there, full of beasts.  I am not a serial dater, but this dating stuff is especially difficult for us ladies who desire to be a Real Girl.  A Real Girl actually expects just a few small things from the potential man. 

For example:

How about giving us your real name?  I don't care what your daughter told you about Brad being a more appealing name than Warren, it is a HUGE, RED FLAG to a Real Girl like me.  To top it off, you waited for 30 minutes to go by in conversation before it occurred to you to come clean.  This is unacceptable and only the least of us card carrying ladies will let you get any further than out the door!

How about being unmarried?  I am kinda thinking that your wife and two little girls wouldn't think much of you bringing me my favorite pink, tulips while they wait for Daddy to come home.  And you must know how I feel about it because you have been kicked to the curb with extra vengeance.

It really is the small things.  It is quite misunderstood by men that they have to "shell out alot of dough" to find a Real Girl.  I know that every Real Girl out there will back me when I say, an inexpensive bouquet of flowers from Safeway works every time.  A sticky note left on our car window with a sweet message has us thinking about you....alot!  Opening the door for us and being polite to our family goes a long way.  Trust me.  I know what I am saying is true.

Would you consider having something on your mind besides getting the cookie?  Being the lady that I am, I will tread cautiously here, but you know, Real Girls like to go out for movie, or dinner with friends or walking the Rose Gardens holding hands.  Or, dare I say it?  If you asked me to attend church with you, you would have received one gold star!   It takes alot of gold stars, buddy!   Being asked to watch a movie at your house before a real date occurs, well, let's just say that cookies are considered dessert and dessert comes after you have committed to the entire meal.

Could you understand that us Real Girls have to be aware of our safety?  Yes, we are watching out for our hearts too, but we are also taking care to be cautious for our safety.  You don't have a chance with a Real Girl if you ask us to join you on a quiet, little hiking trail in Timbuctoo on the FIRST DATE!  I cannot even respond to your email because that is such a  frightful thought.

Treat us like a lady, and you will get treated like a king.  I am not kidding.  It is that simple.  Keeping all of the above firmly in mind, treat the Real Girl like the girl of your dreams.   You just might find that you aren't dreaming! 

Lastly, while it does get difficult to carry our own groceries or at times we need a guy who can put together a bookcase, a Real Girl is not willing to settle for anything less than a Real Man.  A coffee meeting at Starbucks does not count as a date.

~A Real Girl

P.S.  Yes, readers, all of the above examples of less than stellar behavior truly happened to me!  As said in Eat, Pray, Love:  I don't need a man....I need a champion!

Dear God, Thank you for the strength and courage You have given me to stand as a single person in this world.  The family and friends that you have given me, surround me and encourage me.  They see my blind spots and point them out.  They empower me to do what is right for a Real Girl.  Because of You, I have this peaceful and serene life and freedom from the life of a Pretender.  I am content to be right where I am...with You.  ~Your Real Girl