In the past few weeks I have gone through some major breakthroughs that I have waited for years to experience. As a result, I had a huge shift in my demeanor, my self esteem and my level of joy. It was like I saw life in color again after a long time in black and white.
I also had a wonderful weekend with a good friend who needed a friend. And I felt like I genuinely was there for her and that my own past experiences were used to help her through her difficult time. I never would have chosen to go through my life's experiences but it sure felt good to put them to use!
So riding a "high" for a few days, I felt better about myself than I had in years. Of course, the other shoe was about to drop....(this is called Life).
A very good friend of mine told me a saying that his grandpa used to say. "If you stir the pot, it starts to stink." How true this is.
God has begun again to stir the pot of my life....and it smells horrible. As this stirring continues, more and more rises to the top, things that need to be handled, things that need to change.
While the situation that brought this to the surface was extremely hurtful, I also realize that without it, change would never come. When we are uncomfortable we do something about it. We are made to act rather than sit by and watch.
I am asking, practically begging, God to prepare my heart with the right words and attitude, and the ability to make a wrong as right as is possible. It has smelled bad for too long. It is time.
Dear God, You see my situation in its entirety. You know my heart and my thoughts and my intentions. In my humanness, I have hurt others and You expect me to learn and grow from this. It is difficult to face. It's been easier to hide and pretend. I ask that You go with me and that the words of my mouth will demonstrate You in my life. Not just today, everyday. Amen.
ps My food program is going along very smoothly. But when I feel good about myself, it always seems easier. Taking care of personal or work issues that need attention can keep us on track!