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| Change. I hate it. |
I think change is more sure than death and taxes, or at least it is more frequent. I think I might not mind change so much if I knew it was coming on April 15th of every year, like our tax returns. If I could just prepare, be aware, go shopping for chocolate, get ready for the big meltdown. But no...no such luck. Change hits us when we are least ready.
Through sickness and health, change seems wedded to me and determined to stick it out and make it work. I don't want any more change. I would like to settle in a comfy, leather lazy boy and while away the hours reading to grandgurl. Again, that brute named change just won't stay away.
So, through the aching muscles and the copious amounts of tears, the re-homing of my precious Sophie of 8 years, and the butchering of longstanding ties that bind, it appears that I have grabbed change by its lapel and hung on for dear life.
I have no idea where I will land. I have no idea where this is leading. I threw the road map out the window YEARS ago and as one country song says, I am working on tearing off the rearview mirror and giving it the heave-ho too.
I am sure there is yet another lesson in all of this. Right now I don't want to talk about lessons. Frankly, I am sick of lessons. I am tired of feeling judged by all the change in my life, the constant upheaval that no one else seems to experience. I see the eyes that roll and I can read the thought clouds over head as I begin to tell the latest happening in my life. I know it seems impossible for all these things to happen to one person. I feel the same way. Hey, I wish they didn't all happen to me, too. All I want these days is peace. I don't need any endowments, lottery winnings, or even to own land. I just want a small piece of comfort and a slice of stability. Maybe a lick of love. A hug from grandgurl.
Let me just end on that. Grandgurl. This past weekend I was blessed to move into grandgurl's home with her and her mom and dad. On the first day of move-in I needed to carry in five different baskets/boxes. With each trip I took across the threshold of the front door she was in full parade mode, yelling "yay, Gaga comed" and "Hurray, Gaga" and "Hi, Gaga" over and over to the tops of her lungs, and I felt like the biggest super star, Disney hero, or caped-crusader ever. She certainly has a way about her.
Yup. Change is one thing you can be sure of, and you may not see it coming. I was blind-sided for sure but I am happy, happy, happy to say that being Super Gaga is one great ending.