Friday, May 15, 2015

Positive > Negative

Focus on Building the New

After a long visit with a friend I had not seen in a while, there was great cause for reflection this weekend.  My friend is really going through tough times and I don't envy the load she is carrying.  I can only be there when needed to let her speak her truth and try to infuse some sort of hope into the dire circumstances.

Whenever we are in a tough spot, most people have plans to change.  Most have a desire to live differently and can even envision what that would look like.  However, most people get stuck because they never start!

I often say that if you don't like your life, change something.  In my own personal counseling sessions I learned that change brings hope.  Think about that.  When you change something it makes you hopeful that you will get a different outcome.

Some situations are not dire.  If you are stuck between the peach dress and the aquamarine, well then, this is not for you.  But if you are in a place where it's "damned if you do and damned if you don't" this might just help you clarify your thinking.

Here's another clue:  Do you feel like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place?  That no answer is the right answer?  Another thing I learned during my counseling session: Always, always, almost always, the hard thing is the right thing.  The most difficult answer is most assuredly the right choice. 

It's never easy to invoke change.  We like comfort and even if we aren't comfortable, we like routine....nothing unexpected.  It's safer to just keep plodding along with the norm and being miserable because we know what that feels like and what to expect.  We fear change but that's the biggest mistake of all.  Fear is a liar.  Change means you are alive. We are either changing or dying.

Don't listen to Fear.  He is mean.

I am currently re-reading a favorite book and I came across this line: 

"The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving." e.g.

Don't wait.  Don't stay stuck.  YOU have power over YOU.  YOU can change something in your life and make a difference.  As Pastor Joel Osteen says, "Just do the next right thing."  That's all that is required.  This sign hangs in my work space to remind me that when I am overwhelmed, that's all that is necessary.  The next right thing.

In The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy wanted to go back home from the very beginning of the story and didn't get to until the very end.  The entire movie she bemoaned just wanting to go home though why she preferred the gray skies of Kansas over the happy, colorful, singing world of Munchkin Land I cannot fathom.  But look...the point is, she had the ruby red slippers on all along!  Wouldn't it be a shame to find out that you had the power to change your life and didn't even use it?  Click your ruby red slippers and start living a Real Gurl Life.  Just start!