Wednesday, December 29, 2010

You Don't Need an Invitation

Where have I been?  I think during the past month I have dropped out of life.  Just plain and simple.  I have written before about being my own best friend, and let me tell you, I did not follow through with my own sage advice.

I did not reach out to many for a friendly ear or a coffee chat.  I didn't write for weeks.  I just let that old Loneliness and Depression take a front seat in the car.  In fact, they took the wheel.

What changed today?  Why am I writing today?  What prompted this sudden and unexpected effort?

Need, friend, need.

As I lay in bed early this morning, peering out the bedroom window and hoping for the cleansing white snowfall that I love so much, I realized I had to do SOMETHING.  Just begin. 

It's not like I don't have plenty to do.  Obviously there is the end of the year stuff, the desk is piled with a mixture of work and personal and Christmas stuff.  I have friends that I haven't spoken to in weeks and well, even the trash needs to go out!

But I am starting here, to talk it out, think it through, find a path through the maze.

As my mind continued to wander during the wee hours this morning, I remembered a commercial that I recently saw for a new show coming on.  I can't remember the show but I sure remember the clip.  The adult daughter said to her mother:

"You don't need an invitation to your own life!"

Well now.  Was she talking to me???  Sure felt like it.

So again I let my mind wander down the places I had not gone in the past few weeks.  The opportunities that were missed while I chose to wrap up in a blanket and disconnect.

You know, nothing good comes from disconnecting.  It just gives Loneliness and Depression an open-mike.  And believe me, even the best antidepressant cannot chase them away without some effort from us.

New Year's is always a time for folks to reflect.  We make promises to ourselves and others.  Sometimes they are kept; most times I wager not.

But Laura, let me remind you that this is YOUR life.  It is not made up of your successes and failures but of who you ARE in your heart.  Don't waste one more minute.  Reach out to those friends.  Take out the trash. File 2010.  Get ready for 2011. 

Folks, let me tell you now.  YOU don't need an invitation to your life.  Don't go to bed tonight feeling the same as you did when you woke up.  Get moving.  Get busy with living or you will be busy dying.

And one more piece of advice as you enter the new year with a fresh approach:  One must be kind to oneself when trying something new. 

Hey, if you are one of those already ahead of the game, be sure to reach out to someone else and encourage them.  You just never know how much it will help.

Wow....and not in a good way.  It's been nearly a month since I have written and ignored the me that is so hungrily searching for my path.  I think I could have used the therapy! 

Dear God,  You have reminded me that I have not asked YOU to help me find my way in a while.  I have been trying to do it on my own.  Help me remember that the castles I build are made of sand.  Only with YOU can I be safe from shifting sand.  Help me feel your love fill my heart so that I have something to give to others.  Thank you for your blessings of a loving family.  ~Me